45 Funny Valentines Day Quotes You’ll Actually Love

Funny Valentines Day Quotes

Love is in the air, and it’s time to spread some humor and joy with these funny Valentines Day quotes. Get ready to tickle your funny bone and bring a smile to your loved one’s face with these witty and entertaining sayings. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or just starting to swoon, these funny Valentines Day quotes are the perfect addition to your Valentine’s Day celebrations.

You might want to read: 63 Romantic Happy Valentine’s Day Quotes and Messages

Humorous Valentines Day Quotes

Valentine’s Day is a special day to celebrate love and affection. Although it is traditionally a day for couples, it can also be a day for friends and family to show their love for one another.

There are many ways to show your love on Valentine’s Day, but one of the most popular is to exchange cards. Cards are a great way to express your thoughts and feelings, and they can be a lot of fun too! If you are looking for some funny Valentines Day quotes to put on your card, then look no further! Here are 45 of the funniest Valentine’s Day quotes that we could find

Related: 100+ Cute Valentine’s Day Card Ideas for 2023

Funny Valentines Day Quotes

two yellow emoji on yellow case

If you’re single and ready to mingle, or if you’re just looking for a good laugh, check out these funny Valentines Day quotes.

Short Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes

  • I’m yours forever unless you give me back.
  • My love for you is like diarrhea, I can’t hold it in.
  • Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  • I love you more than Netflix binges and cat videos.
  • You make my heart skip a beat, and sometimes even do a somersault.
  • Love is like a freshly born baby. It’s cute until it starts shitting and crying.
  • Valentines Day is a day to celebrate love, not to get laid. Unless you’re me, then it’s both.
  • My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.
  • All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
  • I love you so much, I’d even share my last hot wing with you.

Funny Valentines Day Messages

  • We’re all a little weird. And life is a little odd. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
  • Valentine’s Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, and get back together on the 15th.
  • Happy Valentine’s Day to the person who makes my life feel like a romantic comedy… minus the dramatic breakup scenes.
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I have never met someone as weird as you.
  • Being single on Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to love yourself and buy yourself all the chocolates.
  • Here’s to a friendship filled with love, laughter, and endless inside jokes, this Valentine’s Day and beyond.
  • Valentine’s Day without you would be like a romantic comedy without the laughter.
  • Why buy someone else’s love when you can buy yourself a spa day and some peace of mind?

Funny Valentines Day Quotes for Friends

Funny Valentines Day quotes for friends:

five women laughing
  • Friends are like Valentine’s chocolates, sweet and a little nutty.
  • I’m so lucky to have a friend like you, who tolerates all my quirks and still loves me anyway.
  • A good friend is like a warm blanket on a chilly Valentine’s Day.
  • A true friend is someone who knows all your love stories and still sticks around for the next one.
  • I’m grateful for our friendship, it’s sweeter than a box of chocolates.
  • Friendship is like wine, it gets better with age, and even sweeter on Valentine’s Day.
  • You’re my person, my partner in crime, my wingman, and my best friend all rolled into one.
  • Friends are the family we choose, and I’m grateful I chose you this Valentine’s Day.

Funny Single on Valentine’s Day Quotes

  • True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.
  • Being single on Valentine’s Day is like being a kid in a candy store, with no money.”
  • Why buy a card for Valentine’s Day when you can buy yourself a pizza and call it a self-love party?
  • Why settle for just one rose on Valentine’s Day when you can have a whole bouquet of Netflix and Chill?
  • Valentine’s Day is just another excuse to treat yourself to a fancy dinner and a bottle of wine.
  • Why buy someone else’s love when you can buy yourself a spa day and some peace of mind?
  • Being single on Valentine’s Day means you get to spend the whole day with your true love: yourself.
  • Why wait for someone else to buy you flowers when you can buy yourself a whole garden of your favorite plants?
  • Valentine’s Day for single people is like every other day, just with more chocolate on sale.
  • Being single on Valentine’s Day means you get to have your cake and eat it too, without anyone judging you.

Jokes Funny Single Valentines Day Quotes

Single funny Valentines Day quotes:

woman eating chocolates in bed on valentines day
  • Being single on Valentine’s Day is just a chance to avoid awkward dinner conversations and save money on gifts.
  • Valentine’s Day is just another day to celebrate the love you have for yourself.
  • Why settle for one Valentine when you can have a whole box of chocolates to yourself?
  • Being single on Valentine’s Day is like having a permanent VIP pass to the ‘Forever Alone’ club.
  • Valentine’s Day is just an excuse to treat yourself to a fancy dinner and a movie, sans the awkward date.
  • Why wait for someone to give you flowers when you can buy yourself a whole garden and never have to share?
  • Being single on Valentine’s Day means you get to focus on self-love, not just romantic love.
  • Why settle for a cheesy pickup line when you can have a whole cheesy pizza to yourself?
  • Valentine’s Day for single people is like any other day, but with more opportunities to spoil yourself.
  • Being single on Valentine’s Day is just a reminder that you don’t need someone else to make you happy.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Valentine’s Day is a day of love and celebration, but it doesn’t always have to be serious. Adding some humor to the occasion can make it more enjoyable and lighthearted. Whether you’re in a relationship, single, or celebrating with friends, these funny Valentines Day quotes and messages will add a touch of laughter and levity to your day. So go ahead and spread the love, laughter, and joy this Happy Valentine’s Day, and make it a day to remember.

You might want to read: 70 Cute And Funny Happy Valentine’s Day Instagram Captions

Also: 63 Romantic Happy Valentine’s Day Quotes and Messages

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